If I Stay 66-127

Hello again,

time for my second English home-reading post this year. This time I read next 60 pages and nothing very special or interesting happened, but I'll tell you still a few things Mia thought about.

She is very disappointed in his boyfriend, who doesn't come to see her in hospital. She keeps reminding all those good memories she has had with Adam, some of them are not so good, too. Mia keeps wondering why Adam even liked her, because she doesn't think she is beautiful or interesting or smart, and she thinks Adam is all of them. She thinks she's not worth him.

This is pretty sad, because this shows how low self-esteem Mia has and how badly she thinks about herself. I think that part of Mia's bad thoughts about herself are because she thinks she doesn't or now didn't belong to her family. Her parents and brother Teddy are all in rock'n'roll and suddenly, Mia is a cellist. When she also first announced to her parents that she wants to play cello and she likes classical music, her parents were absolutely shocked. They didn't say anything bad or rude about it, but Mia saw it in their eyes. And she thinks that her father, who played drums in one rock band, was disappointed in her. So Mia's opinion of herself is very low.

So, when she waits for Adam, she thinks all these thoughts. At one point, Adam comes and is very upset about her and the nurses won't let them in to see Mia. She just wants so much to hug him and tell him that everything will be okay, but the nurses say, that she is very weak to take visitors who aren't in her family. So Adam stays in the hospital and waits to see her.

I'd like to write you a paragraph from the book, which made me understood the books's title ''If I Stay''.

''And it's while contemplating this that I think about what the nurse said. She's running the show. And suddenly I understand what Gramps was really asking Gran. He had listened to that nurse, too. He got it before I did. 
If I stay. If I live. It's up to me.
All this business about medically induced comas is just doctor talk. It's not up to the doctors. It's not up to the absentee angels. It's not even up to God who, if He exists, is nowhere around right now. It's up to me.''

This is a really good paragraph. This made me think for a long time. That maybe when people get serious injuries or diseases, it's their choice if they want to live on with their lives or to go to somewhere, where they would meet their loved ones, who have already left. Do people find the strength in themselves to wait until their life should end, at the right time, when they're 90 years old? Or they miss their loved ones so much that maybe they want to join them already, so they give up to little difficulties, their own lives almost unlived?

I hope that Mia chooses to stay.

There wasn't much description of these 60 pages this time, more my thoughts about Mia's situation.

Nell